Introduction

“My kids have the dubious distinction of being evacuated at six weeks old – twice.”

Jen Upton’s story is filled with remarkable moments that show just how unpredictable a career in diplomacy can be.

Jen Upton, a former diplomat with over 20 years of experience in the UK Foreign Office, shared her candid insights in a recent session hosted by Career Conversations. Her path, from the BBC and shipping industry to international postings in Pakistan and Egypt, reveals the rarely seen personal side of public service.

In this post, we’ll extract three powerful lessons from Jen’s experiences – resilience, realism, and readiness – for anyone considering or currently navigating a public service career.

Lesson #1 – Persistence Over Prestige: How Jen Fought Her Way In

“I was determined that nothing was going to stop me.”

Breaking into the civil service isn’t easy, and Jen Upton’s experience illustrates that the standard route isn’t the only path. After being rejected twice when applying to the Foreign Office at the Executive Officer level, she took a bold move by entering at the Administrative Officer grade, the lowest rung. Her determination turned rejection into redirection. Within a few years, she ascended avove the level she initially aimed for. Her story dismantles the illusion that only fast-streamers or elite graduates succeed, showing that grit, consistency, and flexibility are equally valuable.

Despite being told “no” twice, Jen believed in finding “creative and alternative approaches” to getting where she wanted to be.

Takeaways:

●     Don’t view rejections as endpoints; consider alternative entry points.

●     Treat setbacks as signals to adapt your strategy.

●     Focus on building skills and relationships while on the journey.

●     Ask: What’s the smallest step I can take forward today?

Lesson #2 – Diplomacy Requires Emotional Distance and Adaptability

“You have to care, but not too much.”

In public service, especially diplomacy, emotional intelligence must be coupled with emotional detachment. Jen explains that the best diplomats are deeply committed to their work but don’t let their passion interfere with their objectivity. Being a civil servant isn’t about championing your own causes-it’s about serving the mission with clarity and impartiality. This balance is especially crucial in high-stakes or politically sensitive environments, where personal bias can undermine credibility and effectiveness. Adaptability and a composed mindset, even when under pressure, are essential.

She recalls rejecting a candidate who was overly passionate about solving the Middle East conflict. His passion clouded his ability to be objective.

Takeaways:

●     Learn to separate personal beliefs from professional responsibilities.

●     Develop cultural competence to navigate diverse environments.

●     Practice detachment during high-stakes scenarios.

●     Reflect: Can I stay grounded while handling emotionally charged issues?

Lesson #3 – Realities of Progression: When Growth Demands Change

“I realised… I’m not sure I want to do that.”

Ambition often pushes professionals toward the top, but Jen’s experience reminds us that upward movement isn’t always the right direction. During her second overseas posting in Cairo, she saw firsthand the pressures and responsibilities of an ambassador and realised that wasn’t her desired destination. Despite a temporary promotion to a senior role, the exposure left her feeling unsupported and disillusioned. This led to a career pivot, where she chose consulting and coaching – a move that better aligned with her values and strengths. Her transition illustrates the importance of redefining success on your own terms.

Seeing her boss’s role up close helped her realise that climbing the ladder isn’t always the right path. She transitioned to consulting, blending her skills and experiences into meaningful work.

To find the right path for you, you want to check in periodically on the direction you’re heading, like you would with a map. Are you still on course? Iis your end destination still where you want to head for? This is so important as the career you might want in your 20s may well be different to what you want in your 30s, 40s and so on. Its ok to have changed and want different and/or more things.

Takeaways:

●     Evaluate whether higher positions align with your personal goals      

●     Explore lateral moves that build new capabilities.

●     Consider career “chapters” rather than one continuous climb.

●     Ask: What does success look like for me right now?

Conclusion

Jen Upton’s story is a compelling mix of resilience, strategic detachment, and bold transitions. Like many careers, her journey shows that diplomacy is not a straight line but a mosaic of learning experiences.

If you’re facing a career crossroads or feel stuck, Jen’s path proves there’s no “right” way – only your way.

Make sure to follow Jen on LinkedIn for all her great content!       

Subscribe for more real-world stories like Jen’s, and share your career pivot in the comments. Let’s learn together.

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